I’ve been hiding something from you… and I didn’t even know it.
For as long as I can remember I’ve had a happy, energetic, free-flowing, bubbly personality. Guess what?!
I’ve been using my big personality as a defense mechanism to keep you at a distance.
Bet you weren’t expecting that one, were you?! Me neither.
My business coach dropped that bomb on me and it’s taken me weeks to sit with it.
And since then I’ve kinda had a personality crisis! If I wasn’t a happy energetic person then who was I? And what did she mean I was using it as a defense mechanism?!
Looking back, I now recognize the defense piece. I was letting the bubbly piece go before me like a shield. I sent this big piece of me ahead to keep others at a “safe” distance. If I didn’t feel safe being vulnerable I pulled this piece out of my hat so as not to show you the real me.
And here’s what’s interesting. As I’ve sat with the confusion and wonderment for weeks now I realized I am bubbly and cheerful and happy and have a big personality and I don’t have to use it to keep others at a distance.
I can feel safe to be me without keeping you out. There was part of me that felt unworthy and not good enough to be seen. So I used this piece to keep you where I wanted you. Seeing exactly what I wanted to you see and not allowing you to witness anything else.I don’t want to do that anymore. So how do I let go of the shield and still be me?
By letting my guard down. By being willing to be vulnerable and seen by everyone, not just a select few.
When we’re willing to be seen for all that we are and willing to stop pretending we’re someone we’re not, real connections are made.
If we’re not willing to be open and vulnerable with others, we can’t expect them to be so with us. Only when we allow others to see us for who we are can we expect those around us to do the same.
I give example of how we keep others at arm’s length.