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“I avoid confrontation like the plague!”

Ever made that statement?

So many of us are challenged when it comes to speaking up for ourselves. For most of us, it doesn’t come naturally.

We either do it or we don’t.

And for those of us who have struggled or are struggling, it can create all sorts of physical and emotional turmoil.

Let’s dig into why it might be so hard to say what we need to say.

Speaking up for ourselves means we feel worthy. And if we’re not speaking up, perhaps we don’t feel worthy.

Perhaps somewhere in our childhood we got the message what we had to say didn’t matter. Or that we didn’t matter.

So speaking up for ourselves seems irrelevant.

As a child we may have had adverse reactions to speaking up. Maybe we had a loud, overbearing father or a mother who was emotionally unavailable. These experience could have left us feeling small and irrelevant.

We know, those who cared for us were doing the best they could with what they had. Nonetheless, that was our reality.

And from these experiences we might have formed a belief that what we have to say really isn’t that important, or that we aren’t important.

In order for us to speak up we have to have confidence in ourselves. We have to believe that what we need and what we have to say are valid.

We also have to have the confidence in how we’re going to handle what’s going to be dished back.

In other words, since we have no idea what the reaction will be to our speaking up, we have to know we’ll be able to handle whatever it is.

And for those of us who didn’t grow up with that kind of confidence, speaking up can be terrifying!

Today’s video and podcast is from a Facebook Live I did last week. I chat about more underlying causes of why we don’t speak up and give tips on how to overcome this.

Check out the video here and audio here.

Do you easily speak up or is it a challenge for you?

Leave me a comment below and let’s start a discussion on how to have more confidence in speaking up!